Your stories
Finding myself through squash
- Jazz Panesar
- 4 min read
I didn’t start playing squash because I had a clear plan. If anything, I started because something was missing.
Since leaving school, I’d always wanted to stay active. I’d played tennis, hockey, netball and even did martial arts.
But in adulthood, it became more about solo fitness like weights, pilates and the odd YouTube workout. It kept me moving, but it wasn’t quite the same.
I missed something more energising. Something more social and that challenged me.
In 2024, I came out of a challenging relationship. During that time, I was briefly introduced to squash and picked up a squash racket – but ended up mostly watching and struggling to return anything. It wasn’t much, but it stuck with me.
When I decided to rebuild and focus on myself again, I knew I needed something positive to channel my energy into. So I chose squash, the one thing nobody could take away from me.
It still surprises me now, because I probably would never have considered it otherwise. What stayed with me wasn’t where it came from, but how it made me feel. So, I decided to give it a proper go.
I looked up local clubs, pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and nervously called a coach. Even making that call felt like a big step.
At the time, I had no idea how far I’d come. I couldn’t consistently get the ball past the service line, returning shots off the back wall felt impossible, and playing in leagues felt completely out of reach.
But I kept turning up. And slowly, things started to change. Not just my game but me.
The next step my coach introduced me to was Sunday Club Night - an opportunity to build confidence and play a range of people in a friendly environment. That really helped me grow, both on and off the court.
Squash gave me something I didn’t realise I’d lost: confidence. It helped rebuild my self-esteem and gave me a sense of progress and achievement again. It became more than just exercise. It became my personal time and outlet.
Now, it’s part of my routine and I’ve been playing for just under two years. I win and lose games, but each match shows me how far I’ve come from losing 11–2 to pushing games to 11–9, and even into those tense “two clear points” finishes.
I take part in ladders, attend monthly ladies’ sessions, and play in both ladies’ and mixed leagues. What once felt intimidating is now something I genuinely look forward to each week.
And one of the biggest surprises has been the social side. I used to worry about being judged – people watching how I played, noticing my lack of stamina, or thinking I wasn’t good enough. But the reality has been completely different. I’ve been met with nothing but encouragement and support.
Whether it’s a friendly match, a training session, or just chatting after a game over a pint, it’s a welcoming and supportive community. People celebrate your progress and make you feel like you belong, no matter your level.
I’ve even had my fair share of embarrassing moments, like the time my racket flew out of my hand on my very first shot in my first ladies’ league game! But that just became something to laugh about.
Physically, squash pushes you – it builds strength, stamina, and resilience. Mentally, it gives you a complete reset. You step onto the court and, for that time, you’re in your own world within those four walls.
For me, it’s been more than just a sport. It’s been part of rebuilding who I am.
Stepping into something new, like squash, can feel intimidating, but you don’t need to be experienced. You just need to be willing to try.
If you’re thinking about giving it a go, my advice is simple: just step onto the court. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to start.
Because you might gain more than just fitness. You might find confidence, a community (who I’m forever grateful for), and a version of yourself you didn’t even realise you were missing…and you might just bounce back stronger than ever!
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